Deb's night: Extra fat, fat-free and vegan donuts

Greetings, loyal reader(s).  Deb's very well organized kitchen brings you another episode of cooking club, featuring polenta, mushroom cream sauce, and a dessert, whose ingredients are so healthy that I shan't disclose their ingredients, lest you not eat them.  In fact, I, Alex, was going to be the person to cook this dessert, but I was so incredulous that Deb wouldn't let me rub my negative energy fingers on the dates.  (Oops, let that one out of the bag.)  Anyway, now I'm blogging!  How about that!

Le Nom.

So, speaking of my negative energy fingers, I've been told explicitly not to touch Fred, Legs, Legion or any of the other named insects that are peaceably cohabitating with the Oakenhome.  Jim and I have just returned from Costa Rica, where we we played with bugs and frogs and sloths, etc., and thus have a very healthy appreciation of how to respect wildlife.  For example, the best way to respect crocodiles is to feed them pieces of raw chicken.  And thusly, the best way to respect fruit flies ("Legion") is to leave a pineapple outside for them to snack on, breed and then eat more of your pineapples.  Cooking club: respecting nature one species at a time.

Anyway, Brian has darted away mysteriously to go buy us some cupcakes, which he assures us is not related to Deb's dateful dessert.  As the blogger, I am of course gleefully agnostic, and happy to get whatever I get.  Who knows, maybe they're date cupcakes?  No negative energy fingers here!  Look elsewhere, haters!

In the meantime, Deb has been bitten by the bug of not washing mushrooms, and instead wiping them with a wet towel.  I've read about this, but I'm usually way too lazy to do it, so props to patient Deb for wiping them.  It looks a little like...uh...something else that could be wiped...but hey!  Positive energy forces for the win.

And Deb's healthy quest (mushroom cream sauce aside) includes a dry saute of onions for the bok choy side dish.  Deb assures us that this will work, and I'm not sure, but it's apparently a popular technique for some things.  Maybe it will work?  In fact, the mushrooms and onions are releasing enough liquid that things aren't sticking to the pan, so that's good!  On the down side?  Well, my dad always says, "no fat, no flavor!"

C Cups cupcakes!

Cupcake accepts challenge.

Speaking of the intersection of fat and flavor, Brian has returned with cupcakes!  Hooray for C Cups cupcakes!  They are Mississippi Mud Pie and Tiramisu flavored, and will do battle with fat free bok choy.  I pity the vegetables, I do.  No hate, though.

Proto-polenta

Spread and chill.

I'm sure this is sanitary.

So with the cupcakes taunting us, we now carve the chilled polenta into noodle-ish squares, where we will bake it with the mushroom sauce and grated fontina.  It looks like it will be pretty delicious actually, in my favorite style of cooking - mix delicious things together and bake them.  Cheese, cream, mushrooms, polenta, repeat.  Oh yes.  At this point, I am obligated to tell you that this recipe is in Julia della Croce's The Vegetarian Table: Italy.

Sauce!

On polenta noodles!

Cheesed!

In the raw vegan tongue, this is pronounced "dessert"

Now it's time for the dessert!  Deb has processed some old fashioned oats to make a coarse oat flour, and Jim has soaked some raisins.  Deb is assembling a collection of spices which would make you jealous, and I have to admit, I have no idea what this dessert is going to turn out to me, because Deb won't tell me!  Apparently it includes microplaned nutmeg!  Also, cashews for the frosting, which need to be soaked as well.

Deb's focus on this intensive dessert has left Jim and Brian left to fend for themselves, which for them means talking about TMZ.  I heard something about Twilight and love and scandal, but believe it or not, I'd actually watch cashews soak than read TMZ.  So back to Deb!

Next comes grated carrots, a banana and apparently Almond Milk and Walnuts.  To make this dessert even MORE ambitious, apparently it involves a donut pan?!  I'm reminded of the evil attempts of parents to get their children to eat healthy.  As if molding carrots into the shape of a donut will make them more appealing...wait...maybe...it..will!  Positive energy!  I have it!  Now, it's time to drain those soaking things, and blend them with tofu and lemon juice to make a frosting.  Deb, ever the bastion of positive energy, says to me, "it sure does look gross."

Vegan mush donuts.  Yum!

Ain't nothing more delicious as a frosting than tofu, that's what I always say.  Well, that's what I say to gluten free vegans who don't eat sugar.  For everyone else, I recommend cream cheese.

I got to play my favorite game!  The "save the frosting" game, which involves for me, apparently adding cinnamon, brown sugar, a banana and coconut oil.  It tastes healthy still, but maybe more like a dessert than a tofu mush.  Hooray!

Baked polenta delightfulness, along with fat free bok choy.

And now, it's time to plate, and enjoy our upcoming episodes of True Blood.  It is worth noting that I almost had a conniption because during True Blood, we were not able to pause, rewind or do anything that would require a remote control.  This means also that I had about 30 seconds to type out everyone's reviews before the next episode automatically started.  And did I mention that Deb's computer had something like two minutes of battery left and a broken keyboard?  Yeah, I was not pleased.  So, I give you this delightful set of reviews.  Enjoy, internet.

A glazed, delicious donut!

The End

The Scores:

	Jim	Deb	Brian	Alex
Polenta	A.	A.  Delicious.	A.  I'm proud of that.	A-.  I like the polenta lasagna idea - good base for further experiments.
Stir Fry	A-.fklajdsfalskjdfaklsdf			ads;fla
donuts			c- not a dessert, a breakfast	c. tastes as good baked as raw.  mediocre

He's not laughing, he's crying. :-(